


until the world turns to ash

by kyokomaruya



Category: Hinatazaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F, baby ohisama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26409589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyokomaruya/pseuds/kyokomaruya
Summary: kyoko likes mei, but kyoko also likes ayaka. maruya or majime is a choice kyoko needs to make to find what truly makes her happy. features katoshi manamo mao and maybe more when i decide to add them. what will happen on kyoko's simp adventure
Relationships: Saito Kyoko/Higashimura Mei, Saito Kyoko/Takamoto Ayaka
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

“Saito-san, onegaishimasu.”

It was a sentence Saito Kyoko was all too familiar with. May it be from when her friends need her help with various tasks, or when she has to give presentations to her fellow office workers. The most frequent offender of this phrase must be the notorious Kato Shiho, known for incessantly asking for kisses, but this is besides the point.

It was Kyoko’s turn to take the stage.

Climbing the stairs to a small carpeted platform, Kyoko hears a weak applause over the lo-fi background music. Lack of a big audience is understandable, Snack Mao is not exactly the trendiest place for many people to go to but the very pushy Mama was what pushed Kyoko to want to perform here.

“Today I’ll be performing _Aimyon_ -san’s _Marigold_.” Kyoko announces as she scans the customers gathered in the bar. The usual group of middle-aged men were here drinking away, not seeming to care about Kyoko’s presence. She continued her quick inspection of the remaining customers but her eyes stopped at a familiar individual.

Let’s call her “ _Shoujo A_ ”.

Her smile was the most radiant thing in this dimly lit room, so it seems to Kyoko anyway. Donning a black off-shoulder dress, she surprisingly stood out from her group of friends wearing similar pieces.

So it seems to Kyoko anyway.

“Saito-san?” 

Right, there’s still a performance to do. A cheer sounds out from the audience and it might just be the cutest thing she’s heard today. Kyoko didn’t have to look to know it came from “Shoujo A”, in that same corner she resides in every night. Although Kyoko doesn’t know the girl’s name, her image is etched in her mind not by choice but due to the amount of times she’s seen her. Or so she hoped at least.

 _Why am I even singing here when no one’s here appreciating it?_ Kyoko often has these thoughts to make sure she’s not a singing hollow shell on stage. The men talking over her singing added on to her question. It’s hard staying committed to something you know no one appreciates you for but she does it for her own sake - her passion for singing. Kyoko dreams of being able to sing at the annual _Kohaku_ so she decided to start by doing gigs at her good friend’s bar. Once she makes it big these men are gonna regret not caring… was what Kyoko imagined anyway.

What breaks this inner monologue wasn’t any particular event, but a fixated gaze from an audience member. She glances over at that same corner where it was coming from: _Shoujo A_. It was as if she was looking at the birth of a new galaxy with how amazed and attentive she looked. Kyoko’s _Marigold_ now ran nonexistent memories of spending summer with someone precious through her mind. 

_I won’t leave you. I’ll never ever leave you._

Kyoko’s seasoned performance ended after the final lyrics had been sung. As she showed her “gratitude” to the audience, a small yet sincere applause stuck out from the mellow lounge music. 

“Come on Takamoto, no one really claps for these kinda performances” 

_Wow how rude, I’m adding her to my hit list…_ Kyoko’s inner thoughts can sometimes be unrated. She leers at the source of this comment.

“Ehhh but that was such a beautiful performance! She looks so pretty too…” 

Of course it was her. Why wouldn’t it be?

Kyoko was never a believer of higher beings, but it must have been the case for such an angel to descend right in front of her in Snack Mao of all places. Time seemed to stop for Kyoko but in reality everyone was wondering why she was still on the stage minutes after her performance. Manamo had to come rescue her from the looming tension in the room.

_I want to see her again._

Kyoko couldn’t stop thinking about tonight. It was really just another night of performing at Snack M- No, no it wasn’t. This was the first time She stood out so much, which seemed ridiculous to Kyoko considering how much of a godsend She was. Perhaps the Gods have decided to grace Kyoko for her hard work with one of their own.

In the meantime, Manamo escorts Kyoko to the far end of the counter as a form of seeking refuge from prying eyes. She places a glass of juice in front of Kyoko as she stones in her seat and pops a question.

“Kyoko-san, don’t you have work tomorrow? You should get going.” 

Kyoko looks at the inviting glass of juice in front of her. 

“Doesn’t this seem kinda counter-intuitive?”

“Wow I’m surprised you know what that means!”

“I’m not that stupid, okay?” Kyoko says as she brings the glass to her mouth but misses and hits her teeth instead. “Ouch… anyways I took tomorrow off. Felt like I needed a break from how hectic work has been lately.”

“So you aren’t coming tomorrow? I’ll miss your cute face soooo much!” 

“Come on, which part of me or my behaviour is even cute?” Kyoko downs the glass of juice easily. “I’ll take my leave for now, otsukare.” 

She was about to leave when she remembered something and did a double left to the counter.

“You see that girl over there? Her name’s Takamoto. If she comes by tomorrow, let me know… bye.”

“Wait, you can’t be thinking of hitting on this Takamoto, right? Aren’t you already… ya know… with Mei-chan already?”

Fuck, she’s right. Her infatuation with Takamoto has clouded her relationship with Mei for the time being. Kyoko couldn’t come up with a satisfactory answer to Manamo’s question so she quickly left to avoid further questioning. Manamo shook her head as she wiped the bar counter in the same motion she’s been doing for the past hour. For now, Kyoko had one thing in mind for sure.

_I must see her again._

* * *

  
It wasn’t a pleasant sleep for Kyoko. On top of still thinking about Takamoto before sleeping, she had a nightmare that the world only catered fashion towards people above 160cm. Her barely awake ass mistook Shiho for a burglar when they have lived together for the past six months already, though this was probably cause of the mess she left in the living room.

“ _Are you coming?”_ was the first notification Kyoko received this morning. It was a little past 8 in the morning but this might still be too early for Kyoko to construct a cohesive reply. She left it on read and proceeded with her morning routine.

“You’re up late today,” Shiho mentions while brushing her teeth, “Don’t you have a date later?”

“Yeah it’s fine, it’s in about an hour so I can just drive there when I’m done with the usual.”

“Does the usual include a kiss? Cause I’m up for one.”

“No.”

“Okay well whatever, I have my own date as well!”

“That’s great.”

“...You’re not curious about who I’m going with at all?”

“No, not really.”

“You really suck at talking huh?”

* * *

Kyoko makes a 10 minute drive to a café. She parks her car in the corner slot of the roadside parking lots. Kyoko then enters her destination: _ASAtokawaii_ \- a café where cute breakfast food is primarily served. Her date was already seated at the table up front.

“It’s not nice to leave people on read Kyonko~” 

“That’s for leaving me on read yesterday too Meimei!!”

An onlooker would think this is a totally different person but this is most definitely Saito Kyoko. This is the side of her that comes when she’s in the presence of her honorary girlfriend, Higashimura Mei. The two met each other as single patrons of a strawberry café close to two years ago.

Mei had this aura of naivety and was simply endearing to be with. When she acts all cute and touchy, Kyoko can’t help but return the favour as if trying to one-up her, even if this goes against her actual personality.

It can be difficult to describe Kyoko and Mei’s relationship. It’s similar to a symbiotic relationship between a dog and a cat - however ridiculous that sounds like. Two beings that behave completely differently yet when together they are able to coalesce and form something… unique. 

But it’s not like Kyoko’s only with Mei cause she’s so adorable. In all fairness, Mei has been through many significant events with Kyoko for the past two years. When Kyoko failed one of her job interviews, Mei was the one who picked her up and brought her out for lunch. When Kyoko would talk about her dreams of making it big in the singing industry, Mei was the one who constantly showed her support and even thought of asking Mao if Kyoko could do small gigs from time to time.

Ultimately, Mei wanted the best for Kyoko and has stuck with her through and through ever since they first met. This partially leads to Mei being touchy with Kyoko; she wanted to hold onto her and never let her go. And it was hard to blame her for doing so: Kyoko was practically her wife, her soulmate, the one for her. Needless to say, all this affection and care does cause Kyoko to reciprocate similar emotions and feelings to Mei, to a certain extent.

However, either party never officially declared that they are together. There’s this mutual understanding that they both need each other but no one ever tried saying that they were dating.

“How was your performance yesterday… hehehe” Mei questioned in her usual way which involved random awkward laughs slotted into sentences.

“Oh it was great! As usual no one really cared about me but there was this one really cute gir-”

“A cute girl? You better not be cheating on me or I will get vewy angwy nya!” Kyoko has no idea how she can take Mei seriously when she speaks like this.

“Of course I won’t!! Meimei’s still my favourite and the cutest ever!”

Half of that reply felt like a lie.

* * *

“Tadaima…”

Darkness. Shiho must not have been home yet, probably still out on her date. Kyoko makes an intelligent guess that it was with Sasaki Kumi whom they studied together with during their university days. How chummy they were and how perfect they looked together during those days certainly helped with this deduction.

She switched on the television with no intent on watching it and immediately got onto the couch, checking her phone for any unread notifications from the time she was on her date. After spending the whole day over at Mei’s house, Kyoko wanted some alone time to enjoy the last few hours of the day.

“ _I won’t be back tonight, sleep tight without me!!!!_ ” 

“?”

How can Shiho type things like this while spending the night over at Kumi’s? What Kyoko does know is that Shiho is being honest, but Kyoko isn’t being honest with herself. She might have spent the whole day with her unofficial girlfriend but alone time was not what she needed. There was something, or someone whom she needed right now to alleviate her from this uneasiness.

She makes a LINE call.

“Is sh-... that person there?”

“Can’t you at least say hi before just saying what you want? Yeah she’s sitting at the counter talking to Mao. Alone. Hey today I saw this reaaaalllyyy cute dress over at-”

“I’m coming over. Thanks, Manamo.” The call ends.

It’s amazing how Kyoko has so many friends.

* * *

Friday night traffic was a slight hassle but Kyoko floored it whenever she could and reached Snack Mao in just over 20 minutes. She made her way up the stairs to the second floor of the building and into the bar, which probably felt like entering the Pearly Gates to Kyoko.

“Kyoko, that was mean of you to just cut me off like that!” Manamo remarked as soon as Kyoko entered the bar.

“How did you even know it's me with the lights this dark?”

“Who else wears such bright and cute clothes to a bar like this?” She has a point, Kyoko hasn’t changed since she came home from her date.

“... Where is she?”

Manamo gestured over to the other end of the counter. Mao was attending to Takamoto who was in her usual black get-up. Kyoko was already mesmerised by her radiance and didn’t know what to do next, which was when Manamo had to step in.

“Listen here Kyoko, all this while I’ve been watching over you and Mei and I really really think you guys are suited for each other. But if you really want to go after this Takamoto person… I sincerely hope you think real hard about it. She is indeed gorgeous and her smile is just so alluring but don’t let this render your relationship with Mei as void.” said Manamo, almost like a speech. To Kyoko, Manamo just said a lot of whack but she kinda gets where she’s coming from.

“Don’t worry Manamo, I know what I’m doing. I just want to get to know her better.”

Kyoko for sure knew what she wanted when she came here, she wasn’t going to let Manamo stop her no matter how good of friends they are. Manamo had some doubt with Kyoko’s reply but sighed and continued wiping shot glasses.

* * *

  
“Kyoko-chan over here!!” 

From the other end of the counter emerged this powerful voice, which was obviously from the Mama, Mao. Takamoto turned to take a look and has now locked eyes with Kyoko. For all that determination Kyoko had when deciding to come here to meet Takamoto no matter what, the execution of that was a different thing entirely as she found herself rooted in place. She didn’t quite take into account Takamoto's medusa-like gaze (to Kyoko only).

Manamo, who had given up trying to persuade Kyoko, did what she could and gave Kyoko a small push to get her moving. Kyoko, now with the ever so small support from Manamo, finally pushed herself and made her way to where Takamoto was. After what seemed like forever anyway.

“You’re the one who sings here quite frequently right? I’m a biiiiigggg fan of yours, Kyoko-san!” Takamoto exclaimed as she looked to be bursting with a sort of happy aura.

“A-a-ah is that so? Thank you so much, Takamoto-san…”

“Ayaka. You can call me Ayaka. I’m surprised you knew my name, though!”

Kyoko wasn’t sure if she was joking. This was their first official meeting and she already wants to be called by her first name with no honorifics. Even then, Ayaka didn’t even question how Kyoko knew her last name. She had to do some mental gymnastics to convince herself this was normal and she should go along with it.

“If that’s the case then, thank you… Ayaka. You can just call me Kyoko as well.”

“Ehh but we just met a while ago!! But sure, Kyoko!”

But I only did what she just did earlier and now she thinks I’m the weird one? Kyoko’s grasp of common sense was slowly crumbling around her.

“Hey I came all the way here to see you perform but then I was told you weren’t coming today, so I’m really happy I could meet you right now.”

“Today was my day off but I came to look for Manamo-chan to do.. something.”

“Oh how sweet of you, Kyoko. Your outfit looks really cute!”

Kyoko can’t do this anymore. Every turn in the conversation just makes her more nervous and out of breath. She just wants to make Ayaka hers but what about her and Mei? Is she allowing her relationship with Mei to be broken because of one insanely pretty and charming girl? 

Ayaka sees that the mood has kinda died down (mostly due to Kyoko being unable to coherently reply Ayaka) so she orders Kyoko a drink which Mao prepares in no time. 

“Here, I ordered for you my favourite mix here.”

There is no way in hell this is the solution to the uneasiness between the two of them, at least to Kyoko’s remaining capacity for reason. Heck, Kyoko can’t even accept the drink as she needs to drive back home anyways.

“I’m really sorry… but I have to drive later. Maybe ne-”

“Oh it’s fine, Kyoko. I can drive you home tonight.”

Ayaka was driving Kyoko crazy.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kyoko has a talk. multiple talks actually.

There goes a saying: _Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity._ Not even the god Jupiter can turn back time to have another try at something.

Who is Saito Kyoko to a god?

* * *

  
  
  


If Kyoko had taken control of how the conversation was going prior, she wouldn’t have been wrapped around Ayaka’s finger right now. She wasn’t even sure if Ayaka was actually interested in her or if she just naturally pushed social boundaries. 

_Dammit Kyoko, this isn’t the point!_ _You can’t just cheat on Mei like that!_ Kyoko berated herself for being so fickle - so far tonight there had been multiple opportunities for Kyoko to back out to stay faithful to Mei, but she had taken none of them. Now she even has the drink Ayaka ordered for her in her hand, with some of it being in her system already.

“How’s the drink?” Ayaka cheerily asked, oblivious to Kyoko’s current state.

“This is some heavy stuff… y-you sure you want to drive me back later?” Kyoko was turning redder by the second.

“It would be my pleasure to! I’ve always been grateful for your soulful performances here I figured I had to show my thanks somehow.”

Kyoko felt a timer ticking down; if she doesn’t make a decision in the next few seconds, it’ll just get more awkward and give Ayaka more leverage in this supposed battle Kyoko has found herself in.

  
  


“How did you and Kyoko meet?” Ayaka directs this question at Mao who has been observing this situation unfold the whole time.

3.

“Ohhhh Kyoko-chan! We met at a dance class a few years back, but wow was she amazing back then!” Mao fervently replied.

2.

“Ehh Kyoko you know how to dance? Can you show me some day I’d be really happy!” begged Ayaka, wanting to know everything about Kyoko.

1.

“Kyoko, are you there?” Ayaka sets off the bomb.

“You don’t need to drive me home later.” announced Kyoko as if she was passing a verdict. Ayaka looked like she was playing the role of the just-convicted defendant as she stared blankly at Kyoko. 

“E-eh? Then… how are you getting home later?” Ayaka was clearly confused on what even made Kyoko change her mind.

Kyoko shuddered with how hurt Ayaka sounded in that statement. She started feeling guilty for what she just did because it’s not like Ayaka did anything wrong, maybe it was only wrong because Kyoko was… theoretically “attached”. But how was Ayaka supposed to know that? Kyoko’s actions make it seem like she was straight up hooking up with Ayaka. And Kyoko couldn’t allow that.

Kyoko didn’t want to just throw Mei under the bus like that.

“I’ll… get Manamo to drive me home. Thanks.” Kyoko says without batting Ayaka an eye, wobbling her way to Manamo and dragging her outside. 

It was pretty selfish of Kyoko to just leave Ayaka like that after all that but Kyoko did it to hold on to her conscience. Surprisingly, Manamo had no questions asked as if she fully understood what unfolded in the secluded corner of Snack Mao. She drove Kyoko straight home without saying a single word, probably because she was still mad that Kyoko cut her off mid-call just a few hours ago. No, it was probably because Kyoko made the decision to momentarily forgo her relationship with Mei to pursue Ayaka. 

It’s not like Kyoko was unbelievably drunk, she just couldn’t pilot herself in the emotional mess she was in. Manamo had to bring her to her apartment and basically escorted her to her bed where she slept without even showering. 

Love is War and Kyoko is a General (idiot) in it.

Throughout her life she has gone through many tough phases: her Entrance Examinations for university and her favourite ramen stall closing down just to name a few. None of them even came close to this emotional battle she was facing.

Relationships had always been straightforward for Kyoko. Most of them were mutual feelings with very little platonic ones.

There was a time around 10 years back when Kyoko got into a fight with her then classmate Takase Mana. Kyoko got a higher score than Mana in a class test and somehow Mana got really offended by it, probably because she was always known as the smart one in class. It ended up being short-lived as Mana couldn’t bear holding a grudge with Kyoko for long. There’s just something about Kyoko where no matter how much you hate certain aspects of her, she just brings you in with her charming deep voice or just her demeanour in general. So even if Kyoko had problematic relations with someone it would mostly go away fast. 

A more recent example would be just a year ago when Kyoko forgot about her and Mei’s one year anniversary since they’ve met. A small game of cold shoulder was undergone with the eventual winner being Kyoko somehow, with Mei just easily forgiving Kyoko and babying her even though SHE’s the one who forgot. Kyoko knew how to just act all cutesy and put on a show for Mei to have her come back for more.

Kyoko always had it her way. Unfortunately, the gods have now thrown a new challenger into the fray with Takamoto Ayaka.

And who is Saito Kyoko to the gods?

* * *

Minutes into her slumber, Kyoko finds herself in a vast desert under the moonlight. The air is void of any humidity and she finds two houses right ahead. Each step she took towards these houses seemed detrimental; the world was falling apart around her as she moved forth, heavily resembling ashes as if the sky and the sand were burning. Kyoko immediately hastened and reached the doorsteps of the two houses.

The world was still blazing as Kyoko panickedly examined the two doors, covered in hot sweat. The door on the left was to a rather dull-looking cottage with a cozy interior as seen through the windows on each side of the door. The door on the right was not exactly the opposite but perhaps just an exaggeration; it led to a cutely decorated house with a bright pink interior. 

“You have to make a choice, Saito Kyoko.” A thunderous voice was heard from above Kyoko, sounding similar to Sasaki Kumi for god knows why. This must be the god Kyoko prays to every night when searching for a girlfriend.

Immediately after the announcement, the world around her started scorching even faster than before, almost as if following the beating of Kyoko’s heart. What choice was Ku- the voice alluding to? It was probably one of these houses that were not showing any hint of burning down. Was it which house she preferred more? On one hand, the cottage looked to be an environment she would love to live in with a loved one. The other hand however seemed to be TOO cute, like it demanded a way of living if one were to reside in it. 

There was little time remaining. Kyoko looked back and saw what was once a desert behind her become the void. She faced the front again only to see that the space ahead is engulfed in flames. The only escape was one of these houses.

A decision was made. 

Kyoko watched from inside the cottage as the house opposite her got reduced to ashes. She thinks she made the right choice as the cottage she was in did not burn down, but who’s to say that it wouldn’t have had she chosen the house instead? Whatever, the choice was made already. Kyoko turns away from the window to find the kitchen at the end of the living room with its lights turned on. A tall and familiar figure was washing presumably the dishes, wearing a frilly black top and jeans.

* * *

Kyoko opened her eyes. Sunlight seeped through the curtains onto the door of her room, which was then opened by Manamo still in her yukata.

“Why are you in that?” Kyoko asked half-awake, which is impressive by her standards.

“I drove you home last night, idiot. More importantly, we’re holding a conference. You have 5 minutes.” Manamo stormed out of the room right after. Kyoko had no idea why she said conference and more so why there’s even a “conference”. But the least Kyoko could do was to comply so she got her ass out of bed to quickly change out of her current clothes.

Kyoko took 7 minutes to leave her room only to find three people instead of just one. Seated around the dinner table were Manamo, Shiho and Kumi, each taking one side of the table. The three of them looked at Kyoko with a hint of disappointment in their eyes. Kyoko dragged her feet to the vacant seat at the end of the table where a steaming plate of omurice was placed. She takes this as the signal to start eating.

“...Kyoko what do you think you’re doing?” Kumi questioned with an annoyed tone. Kyoko stops her feasting and puts down her utensils. _Damn maybe I really did hear Kumi in the desert,_ sometimes Kyoko really needs a moderator for her inner thoughts.

“Do you even remember what happened last night?” Now it was Shiho’s turn to be irritated. 

“Uhh... I was in a desert and I heard Kumi-”

“First of all what the fuck Kyoko, second of all you tried to go after that Takamoto girl yesterday! When you’re clearly in a relationship with Mei!” Manamo finally snapped and was the final part of the three-hit verbal combo towards Kyoko. 

It took a while but Kyoko finally remembered what went down yesterday at Snack Mao. The tribunal looked at Kyoko, awaiting her statement to defend herself. 

“But yesterday I was the one who backed out in the end, wasn’t I?” Kyoko finally opened up but she sounded doubtful at best.

“I heard from Mao that you almost let her drive you home last night, do you have any idea what that might mean to Takamoto? It’s like telling her to just do what she wants with you when you’re most vulnerable!”

But that’s what Kyoko wanted. 

She recalled Manamo’s earlier statement: is she really in a relationship with Mei? Kyoko herself doesn’t know so why would her friends know?

“Kyoko, are you there?” Kumi sees that Kyoko was staring blankly at the air so she pops a question. 

“...Say, Shiho. Are you and Kumi dating?” Kyoko answers a question with a question of an infinitely larger scale.

Shiho and Kumi both looked at Kyoko speechless, and so did Manamo. This had no relation to what they were discussing, until the couple actually wondered about it.

“Kumi, are we?”

Kumi didn’t know how to reply. 

The truth was that they had no idea as well. Sure they went out together multiple times and spent the night at Kumi’s house, but they never really considered each other to be their partner. The idea of being very good friends is so much easier to understand and explain to others, as the responsibility of being actual partners would be absent.

Manamo being the lone wolf had to break the air of awkwardness surrounding the dining table. 

“Kyoko, what are you getting at?”

“I just think that… I’ve never actually been dating Mei. Like I’ve never considered ourselves to be together.”

The room fell silent. However only Manamo looked puzzled, as Shiho and Kumi were unable to say anything. Kyoko takes a sip of water and clears her throat.

“Kumi, Shiho, remember back in university we had something similar?”

Now wasn’t the time for a throwback session but the three of them cycled through a memory in their minds. Word was going around the university campus of the new it-couple, Tomita Suzuka and Matsuda Konoka. They would often hang out together and release covers of popular songs which garnered them a lot of attention. This subsequently led to a lot of people asking them to just get together already because they just looked perfect for each other. With all the pressure on them, Suzuka finally decided to declare that she and Konoka were dating, much to the campus’ delight. 

However, a few weeks into their relationship was unfortunately the end of it. It wasn’t due to the feelings not being mutual but it was just so stressful for the two to maintain their couple status. Konoka decided that they should call off their “dating” status and just remain as good friends for the time being, and it has remained as such since then.

“I just don’t know if I want to make things official when I don’t even know if it is myself. I’m sure you two can relate to me, right?” Kyoko directed this question at the Shiho-Kumi pair. 

She added on to her question.

“I’m also sure you guys can tell by now, that I act differently around Mei. Different from my usual self.” 

“Yeah we kinda missed your more serious side when the three of us hung out with Mei.” Kumi confessed, finally looking up from the table.

“ _yeah your fake side was really disgusting.”_ Shiho muttered which prompted Kumi to give her a very strong pat on the back.

“Say what you want but the point I’m trying to make here is that I don’t feel the need to act the same way with Ayaka. I really feel like I can be who I truly am with her, and that she’ll accept me for who I am.” Kyoko finally makes the killing blow.

Once again there was silence. Manamo had been just an observer for a while already but she knew that if no one says anything, it would make Kyoko think that she’s 100% right.

“But how do you know Mei won’t accept you for who you are? Have you ever talked to her about it?” 

Manamo had a basis for this line of reasoning, it wasn’t logical for Kyoko to just assume Ayaka would accept her for who she was just because she hasn’t gotten the chance to say anything. She felt that Kyoko was just subjectively validating realities that weren’t there. 

Kyoko couldn’t give an answer so she awkwardly continued eating the now cold omurice. The whole table knew fully well that she had never talked to Mei about this before. They believed there wasn’t a point in further conversation anymore as the next course of action for Kyoko was obvious. 

There were many questions Kyoko still had to find the answers to. Apart from whether Mei really liked her for who she was, how was she going to explain to Ayaka about last night? She just straight up ditched her without any explanation which doesn’t bode well if Ayaka was actually interested in her. For now Kyoko has to drive Manamo and Kumi home as payment for their time.

On the car, everything seemed back to normal. Manamo was going on about this cute girl she saw at Snack Mao (which wasn’t Ayaka) and Kumi was just shutting Manamo down if she ever got overly excited. 

“Hey Kyoko you coming tonight? Mao feels that there’s gonna be a lot of people today!” Manamo suggested to Kyoko as if the past few hours did not happen. Kyoko was delighted to perform again for the hope that maybe a talent scout will be present and especially to clear her mind, so she agreed without further thought. Kumi however just quietly nodded her head in the backseat.

* * *

Night fell and Kyoko was getting ready to leave for Snack Mao. The problem was that she didn’t know what to wear; her current wardrobe mostly consisted of bright coloured outfits but she wanted to try something different. She digs out a black one-piece from the corner of her dresser as her final choice.

Kyoko finished up her makeup and made her way out of the house, only to notice that Shiho wasn’t lazing around in the living room as usual. Whatever, Kyoko had places to be and Shiho, being Shiho, was probably over at Kumi’s. Again. 

The usual drive to Snack Mao and the usual way up the stairs, the only thing different was Kyoko. Apart from her change from the usual pastel coloured outfits, she was going to enter Snack Mao bursting with passion for singing. Hopefully not as a coping mechanism.

* * *

Upon entering the bar, Kyoko was welcomed by the ever amiable Mao.

“Kyo-chan welcome back!!!” If there was something to be missed about Mao, it would probably not be the sheer volume of her voice. Kyoko quickly moved over to the counter in embarrassment.

“I heard about what happened from Manamo, but it’s okay Kyo-chan cause she’s not here today!” 

Mao was right. Kyoko did a quick scan of her surroundings to find no signs of divine life. Was Ayaka angry? Or maybe coming to a bar every night wasn’t the most feasible. If Kyoko had to choose between feelings and logic she’d choose feelings in a heartbeat. She guessed that Ayaka hated her.

It doesn’t change the fact that Kyoko was here purely just to sing. No thoughts about Ayaka at all. Head empty. She was not thinking about Takamoto Ayaka at all. Kyoko continued to think that Ayaka really hated her for last night, which was why she wasn’t here today. So why would she think about Ayaka? She then gets onto that small carpeted stage with a completely and absolutely clear mind.

The setlist was underway and Kyoko was pouring her heart out singing the classic sentimental love songs with some popular hits in between. The crowd was indeed bigger than usual but there wasn’t anyone who was particularly paying attention to her. It then occurred to Kyoko that in reality people don’t come to a bar to exactly watch someone sing on stage. Maybe that’s what made Ayaka so special.

As if right on cue, Mao seemed to be signalling to Kyoko something with how frantic her arms were flailing about. Once Mao managed to get her attention, she directed Kyoko’s line of sight towards the entrance. 

Maybe Kyoko shouldn’t have looked, though it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. Her radiance would have made its way into Kyoko’s view sooner or later. She had to pretend to not see her if not she’d just die from the awkwardness, so she adopted the new style of closed-eyes singing.

_I’m supposed to perform one more song after this but I can’t with HER over here…_ Kyoko figured the best way to go about this was to simply ignore Ayaka. But this was a lot easier said than done.

As she finishes her cover of _Kousui_ , she briefly opens her eyes to find that Ayaka was not at the entrance of the bar anymore and has now disappeared. She immediately took the chance to bolt off the stage and find a seat at the counter. Manamo comes to attend to her.  
  


“Is she gone?”

“Didn’t see where she went. Have you talked to Mei yet?”

“Yeah I have… not about what I needed to though.”

Manamo sighed and poured Kyoko a glass of orange juice. It was her usual drink when she performed here as it refreshes her throat for the next song. She was halfway through her glass when she noticed Manamo staring at something behind her. Kyoko feels the presence of someone sit beside her, staring into her soul from behind. Even someone like Kyoko could guess who it was - Takamoto Ayaka. Ayaka made no sounds whatsoever but Kyoko could just feel her staring daggers at her.

The last thing Kyoko wanted was for an angry Ayaka to be staring at her while sitting right beside her. She grabbed her drink and tried to make it not as awkward as she possibly could to move to another seat in the bar. It didn’t stop there, however, as Ayaka follows right behind her as if she’s leashed to Kyoko. She sits herself opposite Kyoko, continuing to visually assault her. God knows why but Kyoko looks up briefly only to make eye contact with Ayaka, and damn did it make Kyoko want to just surrender there and then. 

But then what was the point of the whole morning if she just decides to give up here? If Kyoko proceeds with just her feelings guiding her, it wasn’t going to look pretty to the “council”. She makes a last ditch effort to hopefully shake Ayaka off her tail which was just leaving Snack Mao.

Kyoko finally catches a breather when she makes her way to the first floor lobby of the complex. There was not a single soul in sight which was rather unusual for a Saturday night. Just as she wanted to go out for some fresh air, she heard the sound of high heels from the stairwell. 

“Kyoko, please stop, I just want to talk, so please stop running away from me okay?”

Ayaka sounded so desperate and not as angry as Kyoko had imagined. As much as Kyoko wanted to just run away, the soft spot she had for Ayaka made her stay. She turned around to see a panting Ayaka as she approached Kyoko steadily.

Now that they’re up close and personal with each other, Kyoko realises how much Ayaka towers over her. She gulps as if she was going to get devoured by the titan before her.

“Let’s… take a seat, shall we?” Ayaka suggests with some thought for both parties’ legs. The pair sat down at the sofa opposite the reception counter.

As all impulsive confrontations go, both parties don’t know where to start. The two of them couldn’t maintain eye contact and ended up looking away from each other while coming up with something to say. Ayaka then takes the first step.

“...Did I do something wrong? Last night you just left me like that and I don’t know why…” Ayaka croaked, shooting quick glances at Kyoko while awaiting her reply. Kyoko buffered for a bit before finally replying.

  
  
  
  


“Ayaka… what were your intentions last night?”

  
  


“Um… I just wanted to drive you home as a form of thanks for all the-”

  
  


“Is that really all? How were you going to get home after that?”

  
  


“Oh… I figured I could just stay over for the night?”

  
  


“But what made you think I’d allow someone I just met to do that? Also you’ve just met me and you wanted to go through all that trouble for me?” Kyoko was piecing together what yesterday night looked like in the big picture.

Ayaka went silent. Kyoko was clearly onto something and she could feel it too. Just a bit more and she’ll get the truth out of- 

  
  


“It’s because I like you, Kyoko.”

  
  
  


_What the fuck_. This just completely throws a spanner into the works of Kyoko’s plan of controlling the conversation. She didn’t expect Ayaka to just spit out her true motive like that. She looked up at Ayaka who now couldn’t face Kyoko.

“Eh… what are you saying, Ayaka?”

“I said what I said.” Ayaka’s voice was starting to waver. “I never come here for the drinks or the vibes, but because you’re always here.” 

“Every time I come here and listen to your amazing performances, I see how cool you were when talking to the staff here… I see how beautiful and heavenly you looked… it just made me really interested in you.”

Kyoko had many things to say but decided to let Ayaka finish. Also because Kyoko couldn’t get herself to say any of them.

“And… all along I always tried to listen in on your conversations. That’s how I knew you were seeing someone.” Ayaka sounded dreadful. “But _fuck_ that just made me more torn… because… 

  
  


I wanted you so bad, Kyoko.”

  
  


Ayaka started sniveling as tears started falling from her face. Kyoko couldn’t bear watching Ayaka suffer like this. Without thinking, Kyoko embraced Ayaka, letting Ayaka’s head rest against her chest. As Ayaka continued crying, Kyoko started to realise what these feelings meant and what she was going to have to do. It wasn’t long before she started crying as well.

And this did not look good to Shiho and Kumi who were watching secretly from the stairwell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be mei in the next chapter i promise no bait thank you


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter of mediocrity, apologies in advance  
> kyoko confesses her sins and hopes to atone for them

For Shiho and Kumi, seeing Kyoko be so compassionate to someone was alarming. It’s not often they see Kyoko cry especially when it's because of someone else, so the scene that unfolded before their eyes was absolutely bewildering.

* * *

The last time the duo saw Kyoko cry was on her 22nd birthday. She was in the midst of a quarrel between her and Mei till the point that Mei didn’t bother replying to Kyoko's barrage of cute selfies. This was before Shiho moved into Kyoko’s humble apartment so Shiho and Kumi were constantly coming over to accompany and console Kyoko. 

“Look Kyoko, it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to remember what colour was Mei’s “cat fur”? Like what the fuck does that even mean?” Shiho has dealt with many of Kyoko and Mei’s quarrels in the past but each reason for it gets progressively bizarre.

Kyoko remained in her depressed state, looking like a husk of a human just cooped up dramatically in the corner of her room. Kumi somehow felt that this was her moment to showcase her newly learnt _monomane_ of famous comedians in an attempt to cheer Kyoko up. (Spoiler: it had no effect)

In reality, Mei had planned to get into this “quarrel” just before Kyoko’s birthday so that she could surprise her when the day finally comes. Shiho and Kumi were in on this as well, which was why they willingly came over each night to make Kyoko happy. If they weren’t aware of this they’d be over at Mei’s house chewing her head off for being so ridiculous.

By no means did Shiho and Kumi think that Mei was 100% justified in doing this. Kyoko was prone to overthinking matters and how often Mei picks these absurd fights was not helping with Kyoko’s mental stability. At the same time, Kyoko did look really happy whenever she and Mei were together.

Kyoko and Mei’s relationship was sort of a testament to how strong Kyoko’s friendship with Shiho and Kumi were. Mei’s personality rubbed off onto Kyoko bit by bit which irked Kumi in particular as it was a jarring difference from her old self, and Kumi despised a woman making herself look more vulnerable to others for no real purpose. Kyoko often cancelled outings with Shiho and Kumi because a last minute date with Mei popped up, but the pair always put up with it. Because they knew it made Kyoko happy.

It was thus why they went along with Mei’s questionable surprise. In the middle of their consolation of Kyoko, Mei opened the door in her cat ears with a cake and bag in hand.

“Happy birthday nya, Kyonko!!” Mei meowed in delight (to Shiho and Kumi’s disgust), before setting the cake onto the table. Kyoko immediately stopped sulking and her eyes lit up brighter than anything Shiho and Kumi have seen.

“Meimei!!!!” Kyoko ran over to Mei and hugged her tightly. 

Shiho and Kumi couldn’t believe what they were seeing. This was the same bitch who couldn’t say a word because “catwoman” here was angry at her. They wished they could easily make Kyoko happy just as Mei could. As if Mei didn’t have enough influence over Kyoko already, she put a pair of cat ears onto Kyoko’s head where it sunk into her hair to become hidden. She places a velvet box in Kyoko’s small hands.

“I was never really angry at you Kyonko~ Here, I got us these couple earrings!” Mei didn’t sound the most excited but more so awkward, but that was what Kyoko liked about her.

Perhaps Mei was a magician; she made Kyoko start crying within a few seconds after that mini-proposal. She bawled in Mei’s embrace as Mei continued patting her and trying to put the earrings on Kyoko. The times Kyoko cried in the past were mostly tears of sorrow, however this time it was bliss that flowed out of Kyoko’s eyes. Shiho and Kumi couldn’t help but feel at ease that the friend they cared for the most was experiencing such catharsis.

So what were Shiho and Kumi supposed to feel now?

* * *

The answer seemed not to be any sort of anger or happiness, but dread - dread of what is to come after this perplexing scene.

The roles were different from what they’ve been used to; Kyoko’s the one doing the embracing this time. But what’s worse was that it wasn’t even Mei in the embrace. Now there’s an unknown element in this equation - Takamoto Ayaka. 

Who is Takamoto Ayaka? To Shiho and Kumi, she was just a pretty girl with sizable front teeth. This was in fact their first time seeing her but they wholly acknowledge her attractiveness. To Saito Kyoko, she seemed to be her reason for existence these past few days. 

Now they had to solve a new problem with this X factor. But it didn’t feel right to stop the weeping angels at their most vulnerable. The problem would have to wait, as the two believed that for now Kyoko should handle this situation by herself. Kumi then signaled to Shiho to return to Snack Mao and let the two have their time.

Sets of footsteps made their way up the stairwell.

The least they could have done was to be subtle in leaving, but now the emotional couple had realised they were being watched the whole time. As if out of embarrassment, the two quickly picked themselves up from their tears and the lobby went quiet once again.

Ayaka broke free from Kyoko’s embrace for a brief moment. She grabbed part of Kyoko’s one-piece with her shaking yet gentle hands.

“I’ve never seen you wear these kinds of dresses before… you look so pretty in one.”

Kyoko was just starting to calm down so to say that this compliment put her in a worse state would be an understatement. 

Oh how Kyoko wished she could talk - talk to Ayaka who’s literally in front of her or talk to Mei and clarify her true feelings.

But maybe silence was the answer; Kyoko let the frozen atmosphere lead the way when she had lost control of it long ago. Ayaka continued when she sensed that Kyoko’s lack of response was the cue for her to pick up the conversation.

“Kyoko… are you mad at me?”

“No, not at all, Ayaka.” Kyoko holds Ayaka’s outstretched hand tightly which shocks Ayaka. This was their first contact where the impact was akin to that of the Creation of Adam. It was as if Ayaka had imparted a fraction of her divinity to manifest in Kyoko as an emotional backbone.

With this newfound strength, Kyoko stood up from the sofa with her face clear of negative emotions. Ayaka as if off-beat from Kyoko hurriedly stood up as well. Kyoko looked up at Ayaka.

“Let’s exchange numbers.”

Ayaka at this point was just following whatever Kyoko said or did. They quickly exchanged numbers before Kyoko put away her phone.

“I’m going back up to perform for a while more. You can come up… if you wanna. Ayaka.” Kyoko quickly looked towards the stairwell and made her way back up to Snack Mao.

This was the Kyoko who Ayaka fell for.

* * *

  
  


The door chimes rang historically; Kyoko was back in Snack Mao looking the same as usual, but now with a different mental. Or maybe a different brain. The peeping duo along with Manamo then went up to “Alternate” Kyoko.

“...We saw what happened downstairs.” Kumi didn’t sound the most proud of their actions, and of course by now Manamo was aware of whatever went down in the lobby of this complex. 

“What about it? I was just comforting her.” Kyoko didn’t sound a bit surprised at all because she did hear the footsteps earlier, albeit she did sound rather down about it.

“I don’t think comforting someone requires you to cry along with her…” Shiho interjected, “Anyways, are you alright now?”

“I’m fine. Manamo, help me set up for my next song.” Kyoko sounded emotionless at this point which came off as unexpected to her friends who have known her for so long. They had fully expected her to be unable to process anything happening and were ready to leave things for another day.

As Kyoko moved away and towards the stage, a consensus was met within the trio that this was the rumoured _Kyoichi_ they always speculated about.

_Kyoichi_ was the cool, emotionless persona Kyoko put on whenever she had emotional crises. When she failed her first time audition at an entertainment company, _Kyoichi_ took over her for a few days. When she failed her second audition at another company, _Kyoichi_ was here to stay for a week. Essentially when things fell apart for things Kyoko held near her heart, she always had to recuperate slowly by putting on a front in the form of Kyoichi.

Kyoichi wasn’t deplorable by any means, in fact some may find themselves liking Kyoichi due to how cool she was. But Saito Kyoichi is not Saito Kyoko. A world with Kyoichi meant a world without Kyoko. All the trio wanted was for Kyoko to be happy so they felt that it was their duty to lift her out of Kyoichi.

An added bonus to Kyoichi was how much more seasoned her voice becomes, at the price of emotion. Not that it mattered to the unbothered crowd at Snack Mao barring Kyoko’s friends. Keeping in mind their objective to support Kyoko, Shiho with Kumi and Manamo were the awkward bunch in the whole bar cheering for Kyoko which drew some eyes.

* * *

If one were to take a look inside Saito Kyoko’s mind when she is Saito Kyoichi, one would find themselves freefalling in a seemingly bottomless pit. As her physical self was on stage singing Ken Hirai’s _Pop Star_ , the Kyoko who existed inside her body was falling without an end in sight.

Inner Kyoko finally lands on a velvet rug without feeling any pain. She gets up and sees that it was a soulless bar setting very much similar to Snack Mao and thus recognises it as such. 

The velvet rug opens at the very registration of the location and Saito Kyoko begins to fall again. 

After a few seconds she lands on a familiar wooden floor. Kyoko remained uninjured and had a look around - it was Mei’s room. Everything was here as she remembered it, except for Mei. She walks around and picks up a picture frame containing a photograph of her and Mei on one of their many dates at the Universal Studios of Japan. She fondly remembers the very happy memories they had there.

* * *

The wooden floor breaks open and Saito Kyoko falls yet again.

* * *

Kyoko doesn’t know when this cycle will stop. She falls facing the ground on yet another surface - this time it’s the grass. Kyoko tries getting up but her legs could not move at this very moment. She looks upwards and sees two figures sitting on a bench awfully close to each other. It didn’t take long for her to recognise that this was her and Mei, and that she was in the park nearest to both parties’ houses.

With help from the moonlight, Inner Kyoko sees Park Kyoko turn to face Mei. Her facial outline was very well detailed and Inner Kyoko finds her very attractive, wondering if this person was really her. She hears this Kyoko speak.

“Meimei… I reallyyy like you~” the Kyoko in the park said with a very high-pitched voice. Aside from how cringeworthy that was for current Kyoko, it allowed her to remember when she had seen this scene before. This was one of the first times Kyoko confessed her affection for Mei.

“Me too, Kyonko hehehe~” Mei pressed her face against Kyoko while grinning from ear to ear. They were so close their lips were quite literally 3 centimetres away from contact. 

But no kiss was done. Past Kyoko felt so embarrassed that she had to pull away first to avoid a total meltdown back then. 

“Let’s meet again tomorrow okay? We can go to that breakfast cafe you always wanted to go~” Kyoko proposed but not in the romantic way, but one could tell that she was really into Mei at that point.

“Yay alright Kyonko, it’s a pwomise~” Mei immediately pinky-promised Kyoko like they were back in their youths. These really felt like the golden times for Kyoko and Mei.

But that time was only temporary. 

* * *

There was no further descent into the unknown for Kyoko but the world was starting to burn down, similar to her desert dream. The tender image of her past self with Mei was no exception. However, this time Kyoko had no house to hide in and her legs were immovable. 

Saito Kyoko started to cry in the face of her impending death. Of course she wasn’t actually going to die but the feeling was all too real to her. She felt helpless in the world that was slowly burning around her. She picked a god and prayed hard.

The last thing she saw before the world faded to black was a hand reaching out to her, which she grabbed to feel its familiar warmth.

* * *

Saito Kyoko awakes from her slumber. She finds herself singing _Pop Star_ in front of the average Snack Mao crowd (with an additional weird couple in the back).

_“When we fall in love, everyone is someone’s pop star”_

Kyoko finds a certain Takamoto Ayaka with her loving gaze towards her. It really looked as if Ayaka just admired Kyoko’s existence in this world.

_“God sent me a message that I was only your hero~”_

Kyoko takes a moment to realise the meaning of her song in the context she was in. It also wasn’t Kyoichi on stage anymore; it was Saito Kyoko in her full glory. The realisation of what she’d been singing was what caused Kyoko to pause for a bit as the final chorus plays, but thankfully it wasn’t picked up by many in the bar.

The performance had ended beautifully but that was expected from Kyoko at this point. As she stepped off the stage, she was rushed by a mini-mob of three and escorted off to a private room off to the side.

The tallest member of the mob sits Kyoko down onto the couch.

“Kyoichi, are you alright? It’s not like you to forget lyrics during your songs.” Kumi sounded genuinely concerned.

“Kyo-what now? Yes I’m fine, thanks Kumi.” It hasn’t occurred to Kyoko’s friends that Kyoichi was already gone from this world (for now).

The three apprentices thought they did all the work and were happy that Saito Kyoko was once again liberated. Kyoko let them bask in their self-found glory; there were more important thoughts occurring in her head right now, other than the alcohol in front of her.

After the makeshift-celebration party the gang had, Kyoko was preparing to leave Snack Mao to see, or rather to not see Takamoto Ayaka in the area. This was probably a good thing for Kyoko who wasn’t ready to talk to her yet anyways, but it seemed off that she would leave after the ordeal an hour ago.

“Kyoko we called Miipan to drive us back today, let’s go!” Kumi sounded just a bit tipsy coupled with how she let Sasaki Mirei of all people drive them back home. Mirei was one of their juniors from their university days but they always found joy being with her and her crazy antics. The sentiment of her crazy antics still persist till today, which was why slightly sober Kyoko was worried for her life now.

Manamo stayed behind at Snack Mao as she still had business to attend to (her job) so Shiho, Kumi and Kyoko made a move first. Upon reaching the lobby, Kyoko receives a text message.

  
  


* * *

**Takamoto Ayaka**

Hey… you need a ride? I can bring you home

**Saito Kyoko**

No it’s fine my friend is here to pick us up

**Saito Kyoko**

Also, did you learn anything at all from just an hour ago??

**Takamoto Ayaka**

Well I had to try

* * *

  
  


They stepped out of the complex awaiting for Mirei to reach here on foot. It made more sense to Kyoko that Mirei was the designated one to drive them when she realised that she lived awfully close to Snack Mao. 

  
  


As the Shiho-Kumi couple were busy goofing off, Kyoko was left to look like the third wheel in this situation. She tries to pass off her awkwardness by looking around and seeing if there’s anything interesting, which there was in Ayaka standing beside a black Toyota, looking at Kyoko. She looked like a stray puppy begging to be picked up, only that she was the one offering to pick Kyoko up. 

Kyoko never knew how expressive eyes were. Upon seeing Ayaka’s puppy eyes, practically begging to drive her home, Kyoko first made eye contact with Ayaka before shaking her head. She then kept looking at the Shiho-Kumi pair to gesture to Ayaka that she can’t accept her offer when they’re here. Not that she would have even if they weren’t anyway, but it would hurt Ayaka less if the former message was conveyed.

“HEY EVERYONE! Miipan is HERE!” Such a menacing announcement just for an appearance was only appropriate for someone like Sasaki Mirei. There she was, dressed in a slightly oversized shirt, rolled up track pants and slippers, the most fearsome on the block. 

Kyoko looks back at Ayaka and sees how confused she is when seeing Miipan, and somehow it just made sense to Kyoko. Ayaka then looks back at Kyoko understanding that it was time for them to say goodbye. For now.

The night lasted long for Kyoko. Even as she laid in her bed for hours, there was this “dinging” feeling she felt that she had to attend to instead of falling asleep. In other terms, Ayaka was constantly messaging Kyoko.

* * *

**Takamoto Ayaka**

So what kinda hobbies do you have?

**Saito Kyoko**

just let me sleep already…

it’s 4am

**Takamoto Ayaka**

I’m really into fashion and makeup!

We can go shopping someday

**Saito Kyoko**

Ayaka please…

Maybe exchanging numbers was a mistake, but it was Kyoichi’s fault, not Kyoko’s fault. That’s what she thought to herself anyways. It took awhile but Kyoko finally decided to throw in the towel by simply turning her phone off and putting it somewhere she couldn’t reach easily. The lack of Ayaka allowed Kyoko to sleep easily.

* * *

Kyoko woke up to the sound of Kumi screaming. She came to remember that her house now had four people in it including herself, and that sounded horrible for Kyoko who had to do the dishes today.

Immediately when she opened the door, a stand-off between Kumi and Mirei was happening in her very own living room, with Shiho spectating from the side.

“I bet I can scream even louder than that! Ready…” Mirei was about to let it rip but Kyoko quickly intervened before her neighbours had to do so.

“What the fuck is wrong with y’all?” Kyoko was groggy from having just woken up but she seemed to have more sense than the bunch that woke up earlier.

“Just waiting for your ass to wake up so we can have breakfast together.” Shiho commented from the side sounding as judgmental as ever. She gestured over to the dining table where breakfast was already prepared.

“Omurice again? Cook something new will you, Shiho?” Kyoko complained as she already began to eat away.

“I don’t see YOU preparing any meals, Kyoko. Actually that’s probably for the best.” Shiho was not having any of Kyoko’s crap. Kumi had to calm down her partner before a fist fight broke out, though there was little chance Kyoko would win. Meanwhile Mirei took this opportunity to interject with a question.

“Kyoko, who was that girl in the parking lot last night? She looked super pretty!” Mirei was curious about the “unknown” female who was present last night. 

“Oh… she’s a friend. I’ll introduce her to you someday.” Kyoko continued eating the omurice like nothing happened. Resurgence of this topic had reminded Shiho and Kumi of last night’s troubles.

“Are you going to talk to Mei about it at all?” Kumi was often the one who set things straight among the group of friends. Of course this question was expected by Kyoko, heck it’s practically pinned up as the top priority inside Kyoko’s mind. There just hasn’t been any action yet.

“I’m on it. Eventually…” Kyoko mumbled as a sign of her guilt. 

“Today’s a Sunday, she should be at home around this time, doing that _stream_ of hers. Just head over after breakfast.” Shiho sounded like she couldn’t care less about reminding Kyoko about her priorities, it wasn't her job anyway.

“So what’s going on?” Mirei asked with still no knowledge on what transpired over the past few days. Maybe it was better for Mirei not to know for now to save Kyoko some mental stress, so she decided to tell her about it another day. Perhaps when she finally introduces Ayaka to her. The others felt the same way as well.

“Guys??” 

* * *

Kyoko lets herself into Mei’s house with her given spare key. It was for whenever Kyoko felt lonely at night and “needed some compwany” as Mei would put it. She sees the all too familiar household she has visited so many times over the past two years. As if in a routine, she makes her way to the kitchen to grab two bottles of strawberry milk from the fridge, one of Mei’s preferred drinks. Any sort of strawberry related food or drink product would find its way into Mei’s refrigerator sooner or later.

“ _Ojamashimasu…”_ Kyoko lets out a formality before entering Mei’s room. As scheduled, she was indeed doing her weekend streaming on _YouTube_.

“Oh look who’s here!!! Everyone say hi to Kyonko-nyan!!” Mei introduces Kyoko to her current stream viewers, who subsequently donated money upon seeing another cute girl on stream. Kyoko makes her way to a chair beside Mei and places the bottles down on the table.

“What brings you here today Kyonko!” Mei opens the bottle of strawberry milk and begins downing some of it. Kyoko does the same.

“You… Meimei.” Kyoko seemed to be on different wavelengths from Mei.

“Wow how sweeeeet of you Kyonko!! _Chuuu~_ ”

“Not now, Mei.”

The switch in tone and Kyoko using “Mei” was enough to signal to Mei that something was wrong. 

“Sowwy guys but I have to end the stream now! Good Meimories!!!!” She promptly turned off her stream and closed any opened programs on her desktop. She even puts down her beloved strawberry milk and turns to face Kyoko.

“So… how’s Snack Mao? Evweything going well nya?” Mei was trying to remain cheerful with Kyoko. “Kyonko-nyan, Shiho-nyan and Kumi-nyan are coming over to celebrate your birthday soon too right?”

“Mei, stop with the cute-speak for a while, will you?” 

It was the first time Mei frowned since Kyoko’s appearance.

“Okay, what’s up, Kyoko?” Mei looked dead straight into Kyoko’s eyes which was unexpected from her. Kyoko tried avoiding eye contact but decided this wasn’t the way to approach the situation. 

  
  


“...Have you had lunch? We could go get some…”

  
  


“That’s not what you wanted to talk about, was it?”

  
  


This was why Kyoko tried putting off talking things out with Mei for so long. She couldn’t bring herself to confront the one who’s been by her side for so long as she was afraid that it would hurt her and herself. She rarely saw Mei unhappy and whenever she was, Kyoko would feel like she had committed a cardinal sin and it ended up as an unfavourable position for both parties.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about? I'm all ears, Kyoko.” Mei didn’t like it when Kyoko was unsure of herself. She much preferred a relationship where both parties were open with one another and a clear idea of what roles each party plays, though this might seem ironic with how much she pushes for all that cute-centric behaviour.

Mei’s background was quite colourful in the sense that she had undergone many different types of hobbies and career paths. Before she became a _YouTube_ streamer, she once had a brief stint as a runway model. In her school days she would be practicing her colour guard skills. All these required putting up a front to perform or present herself to an audience, which also translated to her “cat” persona and overall pure character when with Kyoko. She felt the need to play a character to make up for her self-perceived awkward personality.

Over the time she spent with Kyoko, she has learnt to understand that she doesn’t have to always roleplay with her. When inevitable small quarrels happened and Mei found herself breaking character, Kyoko still stayed by her side and accepted her for it. However, Mei would then feel like she was in the wrong as Kyoko seemed to enjoy her happier character, which seemed to be why Kyoko often followed suit with Mei’s behaviour. Mei was the one who was most unsure about who she was supposed to be; she didn’t want Kyoko to follow her in this sense too.

“Kyoko, please tell me what’s wrong.” Mei sounded impatient but firm about this. It might be because she cancelled her stream and hence her income just to have this heart-to-heart but it was more than that. 

If Mei knew she was about to get hurt, she’d want to get it over with fast. 

* * *

“Mei… what do you think of me?”

Mei wasn’t sure if she was expecting a lot out of Kyoko’s long-held announcement. She eases up a bit for now.

“You’re my partner, Kyoko. I owe all I have today to your support.” For the most part, Mei has never lied to Kyoko without a clear purpose in mind. Mei had always been grateful for Kyoko’s constant showering of support towards her as it was what kept her going all this while, so there was this feeling Mei had that she just had to protect Kyoko and treat her well.

“Even when I don’t do all those cute things…?” 

“Don’t be stupid, Kyoko. I treasure you all the same.” 

Kyoko began to blush; She didn’t expect Mei to be so straightforward in all her answers to these questions so far, and to be so sweet to top it all off. It was getting progressively more painful for Kyoko as she moved down her mental list of things she needed to talk to Mei about.

She shoots another question from her chamber of queries, which was filled with mostly blanks.

“So that means you’d be fine with who I was before we met?”

“I don’t see why not, Kyoko. I’ve just been grateful for what you’ve done for me ever since.”

Kyoko was slowly bleeding out. Manamo was right as expected; All Kyoko had to do was to talk to Mei about what she really felt about her and no misunderstandings would have taken place. The flaw of Saito Kyoko had always been impulsiveness. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the power of time travel to make up for this flaw.

“Kyoko, I don’t think you’re done, are you?” Mei could see the pain and listlessness exuding from Kyoko and realised this conversation had not ended just yet. She picks up the tension once again, staring straight into Kyoko’s exposed soul.

Kyoko takes a deep breath before firing the live round.

“I… think I’ve fallen for someone else.”

* * *

  
  


It was the first time Mei didn’t reply within five seconds. She didn’t look surprised in the slightest but rather disappointed, disappointed that it has really come to this. She turns her chair to face away from Kyoko, grabbing her bottle of strawberry milk as a form of respite but not drinking it. Kyoko tries to break the tension looming over the two.

“Mei, I know I’m being the biggest jerk in the world right now…” Except Kyoko had no idea how to break it. The sentence drops off halfway and Kyoko doesn’t know how to pick it back up. In Kyoko's mind was whether Mei was going to break down and cry like she always did when Kyoko hurt her in the past, and it was the last thing she’d want to see when they’re both in such a fragile state.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to cry.” Mei suddenly opens up when it was not her obligation to do so. “I’ve slowly been changing ever since we met, I’m… stronger now.” Mei concluded as she stood up from her chair and faced Kyoko. Her eyes looked slightly red.

“Could you follow me?”

* * *

The journey was mostly silent with the most noisy being Mei’s occasional sniffs. Kyoko knew where this route was leading to - in fact they’ve walked it plenty of times. But Kyoko couldn’t say anything, her lips glued with guilt and her throat was filled with remorse. The cat that got her tongue was simultaneously leading her to this familiar place of theirs.

The park was desolate but brimmed with memories for the two. It was the same park Kyoko recollected in her memories during that period as Kyoichi. The familiar ponds and flower patches were adding up to form sweet memories Kyoko had of the two of them, but really it just made the walk even more depressing. They reached the bench they so often sat on together while talking about their day.

“Take a seat.” Kyoko realised that Mei had stopped calling her name for a while now. She lowered herself slowly onto the bench without saying anything, still guilt-ridden as before.

Mei follows suit and settles herself down, adjusting the pink dress she wore during her earlier broadcast to make things less awkward. No conversation happens for a few minutes; No one has decided what to say after Kyoko’s earlier killing line. As usual, Mei eventually took the lead.

“...Who was it?” Mei had fallen back into her old days of using her meek voice, something she moved on from ever since she started hanging out with Kyoko.

“A girl who would come to Snack Mao… to see me perform.” 

“Oh… is she nice?”

“I guess…” Kyoko could not confidently back up her statement. How could she? She only interacted with Ayaka for brief moments and on LINE, it was hard for her to say much about her. 

Yet it had come to the situation they were in now.

“So… what do you like about her?”

“Oh uh… she’s quite pretty and has a really nice smile, and she appreciates me… I feel like I can be myself… I don’t know, there’s just something about her.” Kyoko listed down a few qualities of Ayaka that made her interested in her earnestly. She started to smile while thinking about Ayaka again but Mei did not say a word in response. 

“Mei, I’m really sorry okay? I know I shouldn’t be so unloyal and all and I really really hate myself for it and-”

  
  


“Are you… leaving me for her?”

Kyoko felt like time had frozen around her. Her thought process had always just been that she fell for Ayaka, but the thought of actually leaving Mei for her seemed to punch Kyoko in the guts. 

  
  


“I don’t get it.”

  
  


Time resumed for Kyoko.

  
  


“I don’t get it. I don’t get it… ”

  
  


Time accelerated for Kyoko.

  
  


“What is it about her that I don’t have?” 

  
  


Mei opened the floodgates of emotion and tears.

  
  


“Is everything between us now void just because you met this one girl?”

  
  


Kyoko was the recipient of this floodwater.

  
  


“You started working at that bar for just a week or two and you’re already gonna break up with me?”

  
  


Kyoko was overwhelmed.

  
  


“I’ve always… always loved you and gave you my all… but now you..” 

Kyoko detested herself.

* * *

  
  


Mei’s sentences were starting to break up as her tears started giving way. She was only acting strong at her house by holding in her emotions but there was only so much she could do when her lover was confessing her love for someone else right in front of her. Kyoko was motionless while watching Mei bawl her eyes out next to her. She despised every single bit of herself. She wanted death but God wouldn’t give her an easy way out. Saito Kyoko wasn’t anyone special to the gods.

Kyoko wanted to console Mei so badly but she couldn’t move a muscle. She sat still as she watched her lover wail and suffer. Why couldn’t she help her? Why could she help Ayaka when she was in her most vulnerable but not Mei who’s been by her side far longer than Ayaka ever was? 

If Kyoko had the answers, maybe the gods would recognise her.

  
  


“Please come back to me.”

That was the first thing Mei had said after her ordeal on the common park bench. Partially it was due to how she could barely talk while crying, but even Mei’s tear ducts had limits.

“Please come back to me… Kyoko.”

Mei had finally said her name once again.

“Stop keeping quiet… I want some answers, Kyoko. This isn’t like you.”

It took some time but Kyoko finally grew a tongue.

“Mei, remember when you told me we should follow our hearts? Like how you told me to pursue my singing career even though I’ve failed a few times… and how you decided to become a streamer…”

Mei raised her face from her hands and turned to look at Kyoko. She realises how pretty her side profile is even though she’s seen it plenty of times. Or maybe that was the old Saito Kyoko.

  
  


Does Higashimura Mei know this Saito Kyoko who sat beside her, the one who broke her heart like it was nothing?

  
  


“I really believe in that statement. That’s why I feel like I need to do something about this.” 

Kyoko had more to say but Mei had already stood up from the bench. Her eyes looked as listless as Kyoko’s a while ago but this listlessness was more of an in-between of bargaining and acceptance.

“Just think about this again, Kyoko. How well do you even know her… does she really want to go the distance with you like I do.” Mei took her leave from the histrionic park. Kyoko was left alone.

Just how impulsive had Kyoko been with her feelings?

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Okaeri, Kyoko! How did the talk go with Mei?” Shiho welcomed Kyoko home even though she saw the despair on Kyoko’s face. As expected there was no reply from Kyoko as she dragged her feet to her room. Shiho continued to laze on the couch and use her phone, already relaying information to her partner.

Change was imminent.

Kyoko crashed into her bed face first and checked her phone for the first time in hours. Her notifications were barraged with a persistent someone’s messages.

* * *

**Takamoto Ayaka**

Wow I accidentally made more than 

enough for lunch! Wanna come over 

and have some? _13:10_

Here’s my address… _13:11_

The food’s gonna get cold, hurry 

up Kyonchii!!! _13:12_

Can I call you that? Haha _13:12_

Okay you got me, I lied… I 

purposely made more than enough 

for lunch. _13:30_

You coming over? _13:47_

  
  


Help Kyonchii I’m being 

robbed!!!! _15:32_

In my house. _15:33_

  
  
  


* * *

Coupled with these texts were many calls from Miss Takamoto, making Kyoko feel like she shouldn’t have given Ayaka her number. _Dumbass Kyoichi…_ that was the best she could tell herself. But having her number does have its perks.

* * *

**Saito Kyoko**

Are you free on Friday? 

Let’s meet up

_17:20_

**Takamoto Ayaka**

Sure!!!! Where do you want 

to meet? _17:20_

How about my place? _17:20_

  
  


**Saito Kyoko**

I’ve got a place in mind

_17:23_

  
  


* * *

The growth of Saito Kyoko over the past few days had far eclipsed her coming-to-23 years of her life, mentally at least. All these events culminated for Kyoko to now have a wider perspective on things surrounding her.

But this time the gods recognised her growth, and tasked her to solve this crisis she set up.

* * *

  
  


A quick summary of the days that led up to Friday: Kyoko suffering at work and as such declining Manamo’s invites to perform at Snack Mao at night, Shiho now casually inviting Kumi over everyday like it’s Kumi’s new home. Mei has been streaming less nowadays but Kyoko tries to make it a point to apologise to her everyday to limited success. Ayaka still pestered her daily but Kyoko was patient with her - she had to be.

Friday morning felt like any other morning: the same taste of dread, the same smell of self-loathe. Kyoko left her room, yawning as she dragged her feet to the kitchen. To nobody’s surprise, Kumi was already here, sitting with Shiho on the couch and browsing their social media while being chummy with each other.

“Kyoko you’re on leave again?” Shiho asked as a formality when she already knew the answer.

“Yeah fuck work.” 

“You want us to do anything for your birthday tomorrow? Wanted to make it a surprise but I don’t think you want surprises right now.” 

Normally Kyoko would forget when it was her birthday as it wasn’t a very special occasion to her but this year just hits differently. There was a reason why Kyoko chose today of all days to meet up with Ayaka, especially at night time. Shiho asks another question.

“So have you found a place already?”

“Yeah, we can start tomorrow. Also, I already told Mei we’re heading over at midnight to celebrate. She wanted to see you guys too.”

Kumi shook her head and sighed, still not in agreement with Kyoko’s plan but respected her decision for it.

And so the countdown begins.

* * *

Night had fallen after a rather average Friday. She had arranged to meet with Ayaka for dinner at a bistro convenient for both parties. Kyoko sidetracked and visited a _Lawsons_ before her initial destination. She buys some packs of tissue and continues on with her journey.

* * *

The words “ORDERLY” shone glamorously in the night as Kyoko approached the restaurant, dressed in a fancy looking black dress she picked up recently. The place is known for being a hotspot for _owarai_ stars as the restaurant itself was known for being opened by an _owarai_ duo themselves. Kyoko picked this place for even a taste of happiness before the night went down.

As Kyoko expected, Ayaka was already seated at the reserved table, looking as pristine as ever. As soon as their eyes locked, Kyoko already felt a tinge of guilt in her heart, but Ayaka on the contrary looked like a kid receiving her Christmas present.

“So what do you wanna eat, Kyonchii!” Ayaka asked earnestly, wanting to know what sort of food Kyoko likes. Kyoko understands what role she has to play for this dinner, so she puts on a smile and plays into Ayaka’s hands.

“I’ll have what you’re having, Ayaka.”

  
  


* * *

It was the literal eleventh hour as Kyoko and Ayaka were taking a walk after their sumptuous meal. There’s always something intriguing about two adults walking together in a street at night. Are they friends or are they together? Or is there a greater entity out there putting them together to torment them? There’s a slight leaning towards the last option for these two.  
  


The Final Judgment took place at the same park Kyoko and Mei met the last time. Kyoko led Ayaka to that same park bench which had terrorised her and Mei, but she felt that there was some symbolism in this bench. She felt that if anything had to be settled, this bench would be the ideal location for it with how the surroundings helped to create a restorative ambience to it. Either that or she coincidentally found out the park was near _ORDERLY_.

She lets Ayaka sit first, shortly following her after. Ayaka was gleaming with delight at the reality of spending some alone time with the girl she so admired and loved. She couldn’t wait but to start the ball rolling immediately.

“Kyonchii, I had a lot of fun today.” It was so alluring to see Ayaka in the moonlight that Kyoko found herself drawn to her face the entire time, even if it was only her side profile at times. Even then, she was charmed all the same.

“I’m glad you did, Ayaka. I had fun too.” Kyoko finally mustered up the strength to look away from Ayaka for a brief moment, as she had other ideas for tonight. She now looks up at the overhanging moon that seemed so close to her but in reality so far away.

“Ayaka, did you know? Tomorrow is my birthday.” Kyoko sounded wistful for which Ayaka had no idea why.

“Wow really? Let’s go out tomorrow too! Or maybe after the clock strikes 12 we could go celebrate already.” Ayaka was beaming with delight. She was slowly starting to feel that Kyoko was starting to accept her.

“Actually, it’s why I can’t be with you anymore.”

And Ayaka was crushed.

* * *

2345.

Minutes passed with no words exchanged between the two. Ayaka looked mortified; She couldn’t fathom what Kyoko had said. She wanted reasons and she wanted them fast.

“...But… then what was the point of tonight? I thought this was your way of slowly accepting me…” Ayaka was trying her best to pretend that Kyoko was just pulling a prank on her.

Kyoko still wouldn’t look at Ayaka at all. 

“Kyoko, please tell me you’re lying… I’m okay with looking like a fool if you tell me that you were just playing, okay? In fact, I’d LOVE to look like a fool for it,” Ayaka was getting worked up. “so you WERE joking right??”

“I wasn’t joking, Ayaka. We can’t be together.”

Ayaka was distraught. She grabbed Kyoko by the shoulders to force her to face her, looking straight into her eyes.

“Kyoko, why?”

“Why are you playing me like this? You should know that I really really like you… and that whatever you did tonight would make me believe you liked me back.”

“So why are you saying this? It doesn’t make sense, Kyoko…”

2350.

Kyoko decided to answer.

“Ayaka, I do like you. I really do.”

Ayaka eased her grip on instinct. Her face still had the same level of cluelessness and frustration.

“...Then? Why can’t we be together?” Ayaka lowered her head as tears started streaming down her face. 

“What can I do so that you can accept me, Kyoko?”

Kyoko placed her prepared pack of tissue on Ayaka’s lap and held Ayaka’s lowered head still, shifting her bangs to the side.

Under the moonlight, Kyoko leaves a kiss on Ayaka’s forehead.

In the shadows of Kyoko’s head which was now above hers, Ayaka’s mind had travelled far above, to the heavens and clouds if she had to describe it. Even if she had not known it was Kyoko in front of her right now, she would now associate the image of those soft lips as hers for eternity. She could not stand up to Kyoko’s relentless assault on her sanity and wanted to fall into Kyoko’s arms. Ayaka was still unsure of what Kyoko had meant earlier but she took Kyoko’s feelings in stride. The game that Kyoko was playing was too complex for her to comprehend but this indescribable development made her want to leave herself under Kyoko’s control.

2351.

The kiss that felt like an eternity for Ayaka concluded with Kyoko departing from her beloved forehead, of which she will treasure deeply from now on. A shame that it wasn’t on her lips for Ayaka to download Kyoko’s taste.

“That’s my apology, okay?” Kyoko looked embarrassed beyond belief. Ayaka meanwhile struggled thinking of what to feel, remembering the preface to their current predicament.

“No, I’d love to accept it but I can’t.” Ayaka calmed herself from the conflicting joy she was feeling. “You still haven’t told me why…”

Kyoko looked into Ayaka’s eyes for the first time at this park. 

“I can’t accept you… now. I need some time off to sort things out.” She takes a breath before pulling away from Ayaka. “It’s not fair for Mei if I don’t think this through well.”

“So… what will you be doing in the meantime?” 

“I already planned out what I will be doing. Don’t try to look for me.”

Ayaka looked dejected like a puppy losing its master. The fact that what she wanted was right in front of her but it could not become a reality, crushed her on the inside.

2358.

“I have to go. Thanks for tonight, Ayaka.” Kyoko heartlessly remarked as she was about to leave the bench as if there was no tension present at the park. Ayaka stood up and grabbed Kyoko’s hand.

“Please don’t go… Kyoko. I beg of you…” 

“Be fair to me, Ayaka. I beg of you.” Kyoko shook off Ayaka’s grip (surprisingly) and made her way to the park entrance, leaving Ayaka alone under the moonshine of melancholy that will haunt her for time to come.

* * *

0000

  
  


Shiho and Kumi were waiting for Kyoko outside the park in Kumi’s car. The two see the damsel leave the park looking as cold as ever, figuratively and physically.

“Happy birthday, Kyoko. What a start to the birthday you are off to.” Shiho commented sarcastically as Kyoko entered the car.

“Shut up, Shiho. Let’s get moving.”

* * *

The trio arrive at Mei’s house. Kyoko felt guilty about how she just devastated Ayaka earlier at the park and is now coming over to possibly terrorise Mei as well, but this was the path she had taken.

_ding dong_

Mei opened the door to find the three musketeers awkwardly standing at her doorstep. She looked downhearted (she had been for the past few days) but seeing her friends come at this hour for good reasons warmed her heart slightly.

“Come in.”

* * *

They made themselves feel at ease inside Mei’s home and gathered around the dining table. Kumi placed down the prepared box of cake and went to forage for cutlery in the mess that was Mei’s kitchen. Shiho went to prepare some drinks for the party, leaving Kyoko “alone” with Mei for a while.

“Haha… how’s it been Meimei?”

“Don’t call me that. Until you made up your mind.” Mei sounded grumpy though it was probably an attempt to show Kyoko she was fine.

“Okay, how’s it been, Mei?”

“I cry myself to sleep every night.”

“What’s new?” Mei immediately whacks Kyoko in the shoulder.

“You’re lucky it’s your birthday today, I would’ve knocked you out if it wasn’t. _And you’d have to stay here for the night…”_ Mei was not putting up a good front of being strong without Kyoko.

“I’ll take that as your birthday present, then.”

* * *

Kumi and Shiho finally set up the table for the mini-celebration. Everyone then took their seats with Kyoko occupying the seat right behind the cake. The birthday proceedings went on with an awkward silence as Kumi lit up the birthday candles on the cake. 

“Normally we don’t celebrate birthdays like this, huh…” Shiho pops a question to start a conversation.

“Yeah, normally we just go out and eat somewhere for dinner, but well… someone’s leaving tonight.” Kumi gloomily remarked as the candles burned radiantly. No one would say anything after. Kyoko puts her hands together and makes a wish before blowing out the candles.

“Come on guys, it IS my birthday today. Let’s all be happy.” Kyoko takes the knife to begin cutting the cake. The comment irked the other three further; How were they supposed to feel happy knowing their good friend was about to leave them after the night falls? Especially Mei who wanted to know Kyoko’s answer badly.

Kyoko distributes the unevenly sliced cake to everyone, leaving the biggest slice coupled with a strawberry to Mei. 

“How long will you be gone… Kyonko…” Mei asked sheepishly, avoiding eye contact with Kyoko. 

“However long I want, I guess. I just need some time off, seeing Shiho everyday really takes a toll on myself.” Kyoko chooses the wrong times to make a joke often.

“Fuck you. I make your meals everyday.”

“Alright sorry.” Kyoko takes a bite out of her slice of cake. Such a sweet treat didn’t befit the situation here but perhaps a contrast is good every now and then.

“Promise me you’ll come back soon… I-... We’ll miss you.” It wasn’t fair to Mei how many unfavourable positions she’s been put into. But life is about trials and tribulations after all, Mei had read about that somewhere. If anything, Kyoko’s temporary departure gave Mei small wisps of hope she could hold onto that Kyoko would come back and choose her. Maybe this was the sole most favourable position she’s ever had despite the slim chances.

They went on to hang around in Mei’s home, having fun with Kyoko before she moved away and they would meet less often. Mei was slowly coming to terms with Kyoko leaving temporarily so she felt more at ease. 

“It’s pretty late so I think we’re taking our leave first.” Unknown to Kyoko was that Shiho and Kumi were already snoring away on Mei’s couch. She didn’t dare wake them up in fear of Shiho’s wrath and Mei could see this as well. 

“How about you stay for the night, Kyoko. As an apology to me.” Mei made an offer which was Kyoko’s to pass up.

“...Alright, thanks Mei. So am I all cleared now?” 

“No. You’re not forgiven, idiot…”

Just this one night, Mei hoped that she and Kyoko would sleep here forever.

**Author's Note:**

> don't mind the title thanks also I know this was not well written i was just bored


End file.
